Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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