I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
