I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You made out with two different species that night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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