Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
