whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
