wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
