Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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