This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need water and some morals
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
