i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
well you can't waste a boner
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
