i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize