Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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