I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You did what with his pubic hair?
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