You can't special order awesome
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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