Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
