worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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