oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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