No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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