drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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