im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
