Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
