Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
