i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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