I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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