if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
