My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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