soooo we both peed the bed last night...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
