I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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