if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
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I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize