Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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