dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
