Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize