honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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