At least make sure they are 18
Why
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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