So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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