Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
