My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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