I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just want nice things and good sex
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
