I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
