I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
