Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
