whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
