I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
