she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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