sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
