I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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