I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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