I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
