Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize