you would pick up someone in the library
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
