I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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