i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
