people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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