just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
