Where is the hickey?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
