just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize