you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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