I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
