By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i came on her dog
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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