If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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