do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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