Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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