It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
