She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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