I can text with my tongue
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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