if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
