She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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