upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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