my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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