are you so shy because you have an std?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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