Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
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It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize