So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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