I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
