Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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